I started blogging mainly because therapy is just too expensive and I already mentioned countless of times how I had a sudden revelation when I turned 40 (It’s a Big World out there) and how I was searching for myself (How to find yourself on a tiny island) and what all I planned to do to be a happier person (7 new year’s resolution I intend to keep).
Well, my kitten died on Sunday. It was yet another devastating blow in what has been a devastatingly crappy year so far. I lost a total of 3 pets, I had one major car accident, owe a small fortune in bills and have too many heavy arguments with my husband. So in other words Code Red on the stress level and hitting the reboot button has never been more appealing.
So I did what any other person would do when dealing with large amounts of shit thrown your way by this thing called life: I shut myself up in the house for three days, avoided the shower, sat on my couch in my pj’s, gobbled down the last bottle of wine and stuffed my face with pizza and whatever else I could get delivered on the island. I cried, I screamed, I had long intense conversations with the dogs and myself and I watched one girly movie after the other.
It was during one of these chick flicks that I had a major revelation. All that is happening in my life right now is a direct result of me rebelling against responsibilities. I’m tired of being a responsible adult and one just needs to visit a Barnes and Noble to see that I am not the only one. Why else would coloring books for adults become such a big thing?
I don’t know about you but being an adult sucks. It’s where free spirits go to die, if you ask me. I now understand the allure of affairs. It’s thrilling because for just a brief moment you get to replay your teenage years, when the word “responsible” was just a word your parents would use, often in the same sentence as “go clean your room”, or “do your homework”.
I almost gave into temptation once myself, when regardless of my happy marriage, I started checking out this hot 24 year old. In all fairness, dude looked 29 and he thought I was 28 (bless this naive child). Before I knew it, I was spinning out of control and disaster seemed imminent until one day I realized that although this sexy, six pack carrying, beautiful skinned Adonis was very attractive indeed, it’s his life that I coveted more than anything else. He and his friends would stay in one place for 6 months to a year, work and make enough money before riding off into the sunset, on to their next adventure. And here I was stressing about taxes, lazy employees, impossible demands from clients, feeding 9 fur babies, paying vet bills and being a good wife. In short being a responsible adult all while spending hours on Pinterest watching photos of places I would probably never get to see.
I said that adulthood is where the free spirits go to die but it doesn’t have to be this way. The best thing about all of this is that it does not have to be permanent. Changing your life to happier one is doable and best of all, it’s in your own hands. I am taking this little bull by the horns right now and I suggest you do the same. Who’s with me?
I came up with a few changes that I need to make in my life and perhaps these changes would work for you as well.
Don’t be afraid of change
We tend to keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results. That is the definition of madness. If it doesn’t work, change it. Nothing keeps you back more than habits. We can get so used to a certain way of life or life with a certain someone that just the idea of leaving this life behind can cause sheer panic. But ask yourself this: what is really the worst that can happen if you do? Leave that unhappy relationship, walk away from that toxic friendship, quit that stressful job. I can guarantee it will not be the worst thing you’ve ever done.
It’s ok to be irresponsible some times
Let your hair down. Go ahead and dance on the bar counter, stay up late on a work night, take an unplanned trip with your girlfriends or significant other. There is always an excuse not to do something and most times that excuse has something to do with what we perceive to be a responsible adult. Stop putting shackles on yourself and say “YES” to new adventures.
You don’t need to act your age
How many times don’t we hear that we should act our age or dress our age? Who determines what is the best way to act at any age? I agree that sucking your thumb while well in your thirties looks quite odd but hey, if that is what makes you happy than go ahead and suck that thumb. If your body is awesome enough at 50 to get away with wearing that outfit you saw on Kylie Jenner, than go ahead and wear it. Ain’t nobody stopping you. I believe we should act the way we want to act as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else, or sets bad examples for our children.
Love your own company
Take a day and spend it with yourself, by yourself. Go to the beach, sit in a café with a good book, go to the movies……alone! These are all things I used to do without a second thought back when I was single. Yet now I’m hesitant to get in the car and do anything by myself. Doing things by yourself is not pathetic, it’s actually ridiculous not to. If you can’t be happy with your own company than you can’t be happy in anyone else’s.
Travel, travel and travel
I’m not talking about all inclusive resorts and luxury town cars. I’m talking about finding your way on a map using public transportation, get lost a few times and have a drink in small local places or hike up to see a waterfall rather than joining a tour. Travel opens your mind to new things, new ways of life and new cultures. It makes you into a more respectful human being. It can make you feel good about yourself and puts everything in your life into perspective.
I believe that some times we need to downgrade to be able to upgrade. We set way too much emphasis on things that are not important, like a big mansion and a fleet of cars. Experiences are much more important than things. It takes time to let go of what is not important and you don’t have to do it all in one time but bit by bit until you start smiling more and frowning less.
What would you add to the above list? and was this list helpful in any way? Go ahead and leave a comment below. I truly appreciate your input.
Always live, laugh and travel.